Navigating The Holidays: Five Tips To Help You Get Through The Holidays When You Are Not Feeling Your Best
When the holidays roll around, we often envision snow-covered scenes, twinkling Christmas lights, and joyous celebrations. But what happens when you're not feeling your best during this festive season?
For many, this feeling is all too familiar, especially if you're in the postpartum period, dealing with relationship issues, or grieving. It can be challenging to decide what to do: Should you celebrate, stay in, or what do you say when people ask how you're feeling or offer unsolicited advice? Here are five tips to help you navigate the holiday season:
1. Be Clear on Your Intentions
What are your hopes for the holiday season? It’s important to know what matters to you. Why is it important to celebrate the holidays? Once you are clear on why it matters, you can think about your hopes and whether they are realistic. For example, are you hoping for a quiet holiday with gift opening and a nice meal, even though your family has argued during past celebrations? Sometimes, getting clear on our "why" can help us decide whether to continue hoping for the same thing or start creating our own preferred holidays.
2. Have a Plan
This includes a plan for how to address unsolicited advice. If you have a family member known for being critical, expect it might happen again. Prepare your response: Will you not engage? Say thank you and keep moving forward? Tell them you don’t want to discuss it? Being prepared can help you better manage the emotions triggered by others when they come up. Which brings me to my next suggestion, have an exit plan! Will you stay just two hours, will you leave once you see a certain family member get rowdy? These plans are flexible of course but its helpful to have them in place.
3. Know Your Triggers
What tends to upset you when around others? It might be things they do or say, or even things they don’t do or say. Knowing your triggers can help you respond in a way that you control, rather than the upsetting thoughts and emotions controlling you.
4. Schedule Self-Care
It can be hard to do something for yourself when you’re not feeling well. You might focus on everything that’s going wrong. Schedule self-care in advance so that you are committed and more likely to follow through with it. It might help give you harmony and clarity, which is especially need during the holiday season.
5. Ask for What You Need
Whether it’s space, time, rest, a change of conversation topic, or practical help, avoid assuming that others can’t or won’t help. Let them decide for themselves.
The holidays can be a time of joy and also vulnerability and stress. Enter the season with intention, a plan, and the willingness to be vulnerable about your needs. Prioritize your needs and practice self-care. And remember, it’s okay if you decide not to partake in the usual celebrations. Take care of yourself.
