Breastfeeding and Emotions: Navigating the Joys and Challenges
For many expectant mothers, breastfeeding seems magical, beautiful, and a time for bonding with their baby. But what happens when breastfeeding isn’t what you expected it to be? Many new moms struggle with breastfeeding anxiety. Questions like “Is my baby getting enough milk?”, “What if my supply suddenly drops?”, “Is my freezer stash big enough?”, and “Is my diet affecting my baby?” can be overwhelming.
The Joys of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding can be a pleasant experience with benefits for both mom and baby, including:
Bonding: Breastfeeding releases oxytocin, often called the love hormone, which helps in bonding through skin-to-skin contact.
Emotional Attunement: It promotes emotional attunement and communication between mother and baby, helping moms notice, respond to, and validate their baby’s emotions.
Emotional Regulation: It helps babies regulate their emotions, providing a sense of security and consistency.
Health Benefits: Breastfeeding can help tame digestive issues and improve immunity.
The Challenges of Breastfeeding
However, breastfeeding can also present its own set of challenges:
Sleep Deprivation: If you decide to strictly nurse, being the only one who can feed your baby means taking on night feedings, leading to more interrupted sleep and impacting your mood.
Feelings of Guilt and Shame: Many moms struggle with breastfeeding due to societal expectations, criticism from others, and their own perceptions of what they “should” do.
Anxiety: Concerns about milk supply, baby’s sensitivity to mom’s diet, nursing in front of others, and the stress of pumping can cause ongoing anxiety, interfering with bonding.
Latching Issues: Babies can have issues latching for many reasons, adding to mom’s stress as they try to identify the problem.
Coping with Breastfeeding Stressors
Here are some strategies to cope with the potential stressors of breastfeeding:
Seek Emotional and Practical Support: Open up about how hard this is and how important it is for you. Consider pumping and allowing your partner or another support person to take on a night feeding. Ask friends who have experienced similar challenges for feedback or advice.
Work with a Lactation Consultant: Talking to a lactation consultant before you have your baby can help you prepare and set expectations. Having a provider already involved means you can reach out in times of need. Your medical provider, doula, or therapist might have recommendations for trusted consultants.
Remain Flexible: Sometimes breastfeeding is hard, sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it can take a toll on your mental health. Remember, your decision to breastfeed or formula feed does not define you as a mother. Many women choose to combination feed, supplement with formula, or bottle feed based on need or personal choice, and this does not define how good a mom they are.
Breastfeeding is a personal choice, and sometimes others may not understand your needs. It can bring about unique challenges, so it’s important to seek emotional and practical support from loved ones, friends, and professionals. Working with a lactation consultant can help answer questions, identify potential problems, and address your needs. You can find a lactation consultant at ZipMilk and Lactation Network.
Additionally, local support groups can provide more support around breastfeeding. Postpartum Support International offers many groups, including breastfeeding support. You can find more information about their groups here.
